So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
