What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
