So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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