she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
