I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
