Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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