It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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