Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sext me about skeletons
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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