i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
