so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize