"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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