Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
