is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
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I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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