They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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