He is such a slut. More and more my type.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
