I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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