? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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