Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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