Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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