then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
