last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he puts the penis in happiness.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
