with your own penis?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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