Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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