I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
