shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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