he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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