Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?