Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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