She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
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Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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