I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
