have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
