I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
