How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
