Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
