Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
