I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
