Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize