were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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