I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
