you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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