FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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