Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
