So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
