FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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