My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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