if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
