Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
