she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
