We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she looked like the before picture.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
