and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She bit a glass in half.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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