i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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