If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
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he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
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I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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