True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
