She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
