I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
