I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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