Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
