guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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