Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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