Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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