can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
