They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My life is pants optional.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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