GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
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FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
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I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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