I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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