didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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