i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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