I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
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He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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